Glorify Your Crown: Interview with Za Ayobami

How 2 Fish: From a beauty perspective, explain the difference between internal and external transformation? Za Ayobami: Personally, I feel that what you feed yourself internally reflects itself outwardly. So, how are you feeding yourself internally? Are you nourishing your spirit; what are you nourishing it with - food, water, love, intention, affirmations, and continuous work on your spirit? You always have the option to choose.

There’s an old saying that talks about finding the "fountain of youth”. Outwardly, as a part of youthfulness, your skin and hair have high amounts of collagen and elastin. Collagen is the protein in skin; keratin is the protein in hair; elastin provides elasticity for both the skin and hair. Looking deeper within, the fountain of youth begins within you. Beauty can't be bought in a bottle or a tube; that’s masking the true you. Eventually, the mask will come off and you'll have to beautify You - your Being - your inner person.

Years ago, I recall watching a BET television show called, 106 and Park; Free and AJ were the hosts and Ashanti, a R & B singer, was the guest being interviewed. Ashanti wore a beautiful outfit and her make-up was flawless. However, underneath the external beauty, she was stricken with the flu, which was unmistakably evident. One can’t mask what emanates from within.


H2F: How can beauty transformation help one reclaim his/her Inner Power? ZA: When you look good you feel good. It’s very intentional when one beautifies him/herself; taking the time to invest in you makes a bold statement. While attending The Paul Mitchell Schools (Esani Institute), I had a client who came in for service. I was three months away from graduation. The intake form indicated that she wanted a relaxer. The client sat in my chair and confided in me; she had cancer of the pelvic bone. I had become deeply saddened, but I knew this sadness was not my energy to take on. So, I spoke affirming words to her. By the end of her service, she said to me, “My god, when I came in here, I was so low and you have lifted my spirits; I never thought I could look like this!” Tears filled her eyes. She said, “Thank you!” At that very moment, it was affirmed in me that every hairstylist is an alchemist. The ability to transform someone’s outward appearance can [influence] a shift his/her inner perspective. That client seeing her beauty transformation made her forget about her condition, even if it was for a second.

H2F: Describe how your personal transformation has enhanced beauty aspects about you. ZA: You know, the word transformation has a glamorous undertone, yet it can be grueling, unsettling, and uncomfortable. Simply, to transfer, transform, and transition, things must die and rebirth. After the birth of my youngest child, I went through a tough transition (because of my choices). I couldn’t let go of things and ideas that I had become so ritualized in. Things shifted one day as I stood in the greenhouse of my Georgia apartment. I observed a plush, green tree, in which there was one yellow leaf on the entire tree. A slight breeze shook the tree, and the tree released the yellow leaf without fret. I thought, “Is it really that easy to let go?” That tree made the concept of letting things go look so easy, and that same day I began shifting my consciousness. Let go of all that isn’t in benefit of you: this is the lesson I learned from this experience. As I began to release all the emotional baggage, my physical weight shifted from 234 pounds to 190 pounds.

This process took about a year and a half. I fasted, prayed, affirmed, and had walking meditations. I poured the love and time into myself. I sat with the most undesirable parts of myself and nurtured me. As a mother, my nurturing was always outwardly instead of inwardly. I had to be accountable for my actions. I had to own me! I had to release the victimized thoughts and ideas and own that I was an active participant in my struggle. Now that was hardcore truth I had to swallow. There was no room to point fingers. My high school Spanish teacher would so feverously say, “Every time you point a finger, there’s three pointing back at you.” Talk about ownership. When I became accountable, I became firm, solid, strong, tall, bold, affirmed, supported, and clear. I realized my beauty. When you become vulnerable and honest with yourself, there isn’t anything externally that can tamper with that inner transformation but you. I realized that I am the I Am. Do you know who you are? It's worth finding out.

H2F: How 2 Fish: The Book emphasizes 6 Inner Power principles that encourages a healthy relationship with oneself; as a Professional Hairstylist, what are the effects on self-empowerment when attention is given only to external beauty versus internal beauty? ZA: The effects are partial and undone, half-baked and uneven, and unequivocal. Inner and outer empowerment are a couple, like the sun and moon or Ying and Yang. You can’t truly have one without the other. For instance, think of purchasing a home. Imagine house hunting and you've found the most beautiful house. Outwardly, it’s aesthetically captivating, but then, you walk inside and the house is empty - no walls, just the mere foundation. Yet, from the outside, you [thought that you] were purchasing a beautiful house, right? This is similar to only tending to the outer parts of oneself. I know that I don’t want to invest in an empty house. Similar to the feelings of Smokey in the movie, Friday: you have ham but no burger, and [you have] peanut butter but no jelly. The healthiest relationship you can nurture and empower is the one with your inner self. The true beauty will naturally emerge as the “You” emerges. One of my favorite albums is Lauryn Hill: Unplugged. She sings on one of her tracks, “We’ve been told to protect our outer man [self] while our inner man [self] is dying.” And, it’s just like that.

H2F: Dr. Quandi created a How 2 Fish dating app (for people seeking serious, healthy relationships); what advice would you give to users who are immediately attracted to one's outer beauty versus creating a serious bond based upon one's internal beauty? ZA: You don’t want to just purchase a shell of a house - be in a relationship without substance. What is left when that shell begins to degrade? For some people, that’s all good, especially, since we live in a society that supports shallowness. Seems like people like to be scammed and lied to, because it creates reason to be a victim. But, you can always make a wiser choice.

There isn’t anything more gratifying or deeply moving than a being completely rooted. Roots come with the implication of life: when a seed is planted, it eventually sprouts. What happens if you plant a seed in barren soil? What shall you birth? You can’t nurture a barren womb; there is no life present. Alike the tied tubes of a womb, your relationship with another is one with its tubes tied. It would be better to love and get to know a person’s inner beauty versus outer beauty. When the outer person starts to fade, you have nothing - just a shell.

H2F: Define beauty and how it feels to glorify your crown - in then out? ZA: Beauty is honoring my Divinity; beauty is being unafraid to show up and be you; beauty is a blank canvas and I am the artist - the creator with abundantly pure pigments. Beauty is love; beauty is transparent; beauty is nurturing my soul - my inner throne - where my golden crown sits. Beauty is subjective; beauty is deeper than the surface; beauty is raw. I glorify my inner crown first, and then, my outer crown will surely follow. When I nurture my spirit, I glow! I grow!

A New York native and the youngest of eight children, Za Ayobami found her love for beauty and fashion at the age of four. Since then, she's always had a knack for beauty and fashion and it specifically, showed in her work as a Visual Merchandiser while once employed at Hennes & Mauritz. Za attended Brooklyn College and is an alumni of The Paul Mitchell Schools (The Esani Institute), located in Georgia. The distinguished graduate completed her studies with honors. Currently, Za is working her craft at Salon Vagabond in Atlanta, Georgia, under the tutelage of Sidney Hollwager. For consultations, contact Za Ayobami by email at AyoOfStyling@gmail.com.